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Love bugg
USA
11 Posts
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 Posted - 10/13/2006 : 1:02:25 PM
Well I have a question and I hope that some one can answer this and also make sense of what happened here. Since when did the laws change and give these fathers ( I will not even call them dads) out here who have not paid child support, never spent any time with child full custody? In asking this questions I recently found out that one of my relatives(which I am ashamed to even acknowledge that I know this person) was awarded full custody over his child for which he has never paid any kind of support, never has time for the child. Yes I will say that the mother has never done anything wrong but I guess you could say she did by trying to give this father a chance to be with his child and yet the Judge decided to take the child away from the honest, hard working mother and give the child to the deadbeat father. If someone could explain how and why that would be great b/c a judge here in Union county seems to think that this is the right way. Edited by - Love bugg on 10/13/2006 1:10:14 PM |
Admin
USA
1484 Posts
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Posted - 10/13/2006 : 2:24:40 PM
There are many factors that go into child custody. The ones relevant to this situation are unknown to us. You're personally very close to the situation and feeling angry, but this is not the proper venue for venting about specifics regarding it.Particular laws that may have led up to it, spoken of in general but knowledgeable terms, could be discussed. How divorce tears at a family can be discussed. Posts that make it possible to identify the individuals involved will be removed and possibly result in the whole topic being removed. 
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Boo Boo
USA
6 Posts
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Posted - 10/14/2006 : 9:40:28 PM
Hey Love bug Let me ask you something was the couple married? I do not think that is right. I know how you feel please let me know Well I have a question and I hope that some one can answer this and also make sense of what happened here. Since when did the laws change and give these fathers ( I will not even call them dads) out here who have not paid child support, never spent any time with child full custody? In asking this questions I recently found out that one of my relatives(which I am ashamed to even acknowledge that I know this person) was awarded full custody over his child for which he has never paid any kind of support, never has time for the child. Yes I will say that the mother has never done anything wrong but I guess you could say she did by trying to give this father a chance to be with his child and yet the Judge decided to take the child away from the honest, hard working mother and give the child to the deadbeat father. If someone could explain how and why that would be great b/c a judge here in Union county seems to think that this is the right way. Edited by - Love bugg on 10/13/2006 1:10:14 PM
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Boo Boo
USA
6 Posts
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Posted - 10/14/2006 : 9:44:28 PM
Love bug. Could you please let me know if they were married. I do not think that it is right. you see a lot of mothers that have been in jail and do drugs and they still get full custody. how can a good, hard working mother lose her child
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murphy
USA
518 Posts
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Posted - 10/15/2006 : 06:39:51 AM
There are 2 sides to every story. A Judge hopefully can look at the full picture and determine just who provides a stable home for these children. Better yet it is to bad that the parents are not able to come to an understanding and although not able to live together as a family provide a stable envirenment and not have a custody battle in the first place.
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Boo Boo
USA
6 Posts
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Posted - 10/16/2006 : 06:51:18 AM
What if the couple wasnt married. What if he was 24 and still lived at home with his parents and they paid everything for him. What if the only reason for him to go for full custody only to hurt the mother and didn't have the childs best intreast. what if he was with the mother for over sixs years and didn't want to get married or get his on place. what about when the child was still an infant and he complained about haveing to buy a bag of diapers. then what do you do about that?
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shucks
2145 Posts
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Posted - 10/16/2006 : 11:45:28 AM
This story is an indictment of our society. The same scenario is acted out all over the US. Judging from the replies there appears to be more to this story. From a legal standpoint, child custody and child support are two distinct and seperate issues. Thats all I have to say. As a sidenote this may be a topic that is borderline taboo on this forum. Shucks |
murphy
USA
518 Posts
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Posted - 10/16/2006 : 12:13:15 PM
To me is is sad when "kids' Have kids. Being a single parent is not easy whether you are the father or the mother. I wish the baby the best possible life he or she can receive. The parents need to grow up.If you are Lucky enough to live in the Mountains...You are Lucky enough... |
Boo Boo
USA
6 Posts
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Posted - 10/16/2006 : 12:33:26 PM
From my point of view im going through the same thing. I am the only one that is grown up. The father never wanted to grow up. I understand that kids don't need to be having babys. But it happened I wouldn't take it back for nothing. I love my child. I'm 22 getting married to a wonderful man in may, and have my own house.I work very hard and even going for my RN. Its a shame that the man I am with now treats my daughter better than her own father. I just had a lawyer that wouldn't do their part. Its hard in this town to get anything done cause money talks. They wasn't but one perfect human being and they hung him on the cross.
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Love bugg
USA
11 Posts
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Posted - 10/16/2006 : 12:37:52 PM
Well if that is how you feel then that is great but the two do go together b/c if you have one then you also have the other.(ex. if mother has full custody then father pays child support) Yet still there lies my question why is the father able to get it all when he never wanted it and the mother is honest and hard working? I do understand that every body has there own opinion and not to be rude or anything in that nature but if you feel it is taboo then do not read anymore about it. You may feel that way but there might be someone out there who might have this same problem and need a little extra hope!!quote:
This story is an indictment of our society. The same scenario is acted out all over the US. Judging from the replies there appears to be more to this story. From a legal standpoint, child custody and child support are two distinct and seperate issues. Thats all I have to say. As a sidenote this may be a topic that is borderline taboo on this forum. Shucks
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Love bugg
USA
11 Posts
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Posted - 10/16/2006 : 12:50:39 PM
Yes it is sad to see kids haveing kids but i must say that their are a few out there that have grown up and taken full responsibility for their actions. Also being a single parent is very hard i have been there and done that for a lot of years. We all hope that the child has the best life possible.quote:
To me is is sad when "kids' Have kids. Being a single parent is not easy whether you are the father or the mother. I wish the baby the best possible life he or she can receive. The parents need to grow up.If you are Lucky enough to live in the Mountains...You are Lucky enough...
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Love bugg
USA
11 Posts
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Posted - 10/16/2006 : 12:52:07 PM
I must say congrats on the wedding.
quote:
From my point of view im going through the same thing. I am the only one that is grown up. The father never wanted to grow up. I understand that kids don't need to be having babys. But it happened I wouldn't take it back for nothing. I love my child. I'm 22 getting married to a wonderful man in may, and have my own house.I work very hard and even going for my RN. Its a shame that the man I am with now treats my daughter better than her own father. I just had a lawyer that wouldn't do their part. Its hard in this town to get anything done cause money talks. They wasn't but one perfect human being and they hung him on the cross.
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Love bugg
USA
11 Posts
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Posted - 10/16/2006 : 12:54:37 PM
Boo Boo i agree with you about mothers who get to keep their children when they are doing drugs and in/out of jail it's not right. Mothers like them is what makes honest, hard working and loving mothers look bad.quote:
Love bug. Could you please let me know if they were married. I do not think that it is right. you see a lot of mothers that have been in jail and do drugs and they still get full custody. how can a good, hard working mother lose her child
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Love bugg
USA
11 Posts
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Posted - 10/16/2006 : 1:09:52 PM
Hey Boo Boo no they was never married but they where together i think about 8 years or so. It is sad to know that a judge could take a child from their mother and let someone whom has never had anything to do with the child just have all rights. It makes you wounder if the judge has any feelings or heart at all about children and what is best for them. Now i am not saying that all judges are this way but there seems to be a few out there and they really should stand back and look at both sides and do what is best for the child not what both parties may want the judge to do. I think that if some of these judges would put there slef in other peoples shoes who have done no wrong then maybe our legal system might get a little better. I hope that everything turns out ok and that the child is healthy and doing fine.
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Boo Boo
USA
6 Posts
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Posted - 10/16/2006 : 1:32:18 PM
Hey Love Bugg
It sounds like you talking about what has just happen to me. I just been through court and thats what happen to me. It helps me alot that someone like you cares. That can help me through this. THANKS ALOT
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chiggers
USA
1 Posts
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Posted - 10/17/2006 : 09:17:35 AM
Hey love bugg have you ever left town before b/c this happens everywhere, not just here in union county.
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nativelady
USA
11126 Posts
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Posted - 10/17/2006 : 09:30:59 AM
I have a male friend who just finalized his divorce. I dont know which is more sad. For the court to order custudy or for a mother to SIGN her kids off to a Stepdad/Real dad (two children involved) so she could go and party and do here thing. However, I do THANK GOD he got these kids, because he is clean. And the mother has to pay childsupport. A mother who had rather pay child support and not keep her own children is awful but I believe that she did do the right thing and must of thought this through enough to make sure the children had a good home. I am happy for him (the dad) because he really has worried and cried through this whole ordeal and ...he was so afraid that he wouldn't get custudy of the little girl he raised that wasn't his biological. He didn't have to fight it...She signed all custody to him and all rights. She does get visitation."God determines who walks into your life....it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay and who you refuse to let go."
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Love bugg
USA
11 Posts
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Posted - 10/17/2006 : 09:35:39 AM
hey chiggers yes i am from here i moved to the city when i waws around 10 or so then when i turned 18 i moved back so yes i do understand that it happens everywhere but still why? how?
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Love bugg
USA
11 Posts
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Posted - 10/17/2006 : 09:38:21 AM
Boo Boo i hope that you will continue to fight for the child. As long as you are an honest mother then i hope that everything will go back the way that it should. I willl keep you in my mind. Things shall get better.
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Love bugg
USA
11 Posts
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Posted - 10/17/2006 : 09:43:32 AM
I must agree with you on this. For any mother to willing sign over rights then she must have known that what she was doing was right for the kids. Please tell him congrats and men like him are what make the word DAD so special.
quote:
I have a male friend who just finalized his divorce. I dont know which is more sad. For the court to order custudy or for a mother to SIGN her kids off to a Stepdad/Real dad (two children involved) so she could go and party and do here thing. However, I do THANK GOD he got these kids, because he is clean. And the mother has to pay childsupport. A mother who had rather pay child support and not keep her own children is awful but I believe that she did do the right thing and must of thought this through enough to make sure the children had a good home. I am happy for him (the dad) because he really has worried and cried through this whole ordeal and ...he was so afraid that he wouldn't get custudy of the little girl he raised that wasn't his biological. He didn't have to fight it...She signed all custody to him and all rights. She does get visitation."God determines who walks into your life....it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay and who you refuse to let go."
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Boo Boo
USA
6 Posts
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Posted - 10/25/2006 : 7:19:10 PM
What if the judge decided that the descion was based on there on personal life. What if there ex took the kids away from that person and they want to let people know how it feels. The judge don't care about the child at all and thats a shame that someone could do that.
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