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justamom

USA
313 Posts

Posted - 10/03/2006 :  08:55:49 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I am an active parent, My daughter has not run into this person but ONE time since I complained to the school, before it was SEVERAL times a day. When other students NOTICE the problem too it is NOT my imagination. You read about it everyday, see it on TV, people working with children in SCHOOLS, YOUTH GROUPS, CHURCHES, BOY SCOUTS are getting in trouble. When my daughter comes home and tells me that this person is making her feel UNCOMFORTABLE IN SCHOOL, then I feel it is time to do something about the problem, since the problem was addressed it has stopped. I do check out the clothes my kids wear to school and that was the problem, they were fine. Sounds like we should not say anything if it is not "NICE" , so just let it happen everyday, let the kids feel uncomfortable, just let it happen so nobody gets upset, push it under the rug because it's not "NICE" to speak up for our children unless we have something good to say? If parents don't speak up for them who will? It's parents that are not aware and don't care what happens to their child all day at school that should worry us.

This dress code thing is small compared to the other issues that are being posted about, should we not talk about those subjects either because they are not "Nice" or very pretty? Drugs, Teen Pregnancy, Cutting, Depression and the biggie, Alcohol ? Those are all unpleasant subjects, they are not nice to talk about but our school is full of them. When you have parents pulling their kids out of the school system because of Bullies then there is problem.

Just like the big schools in other places we have the same issues, on a much smaller scale but they are here and we need to talk about them and educate ourselves on the symptems and solutions, even if it is unpleasant for some of us.

I addressed my problem with this individual at the High School, it has been taken care. Speaking up worked for my child and I will continue to say very involved and will speak up again if I feel it is important.


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a teach


466 Posts

Posted - 10/03/2006 :  12:01:35 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I'm assuming all parents are involved and participate in Union County School's PTA (Parent Teacher Association)? Not just once in a while when you are angry or unhappy, but routinely and actively support the PTA?

PTA meetings and committees is where dress codes and issues can be brought up and addressed. The meetings are a good place to talk to other parents and meet people in the community who are concerned about the schools.


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a teach


466 Posts

Posted - 10/03/2006 :  12:12:43 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"Drugs, Teen Pregnancy, Cutting, Depression and the biggie, Alcohol?"

I'm aware of all these problems. Being new to the community hasn't kept me from knowing about the various programs that help families and individuals. Just to name a few:

Women's Enrichment Center
Georgia Mountains Community Services
Tulip Program
Lifelong Learning Center
Not to mention many church youth organizations.

Many of these organizations are always looking for volunteers, donations or help.


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daughterofconfederate

USA
29728 Posts

Posted - 10/03/2006 :  12:25:25 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
So you dont think that these are issues within the school and making it part of the schools responsibilty when its on the property.. but calling out the dress code is?


We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
Sir Winston Churchill


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a teach


466 Posts

Posted - 10/03/2006 :  12:43:50 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:

So you dont think that these are issues within the school and making it part of the schools responsibilty when its on the property.. but calling out the dress code is?


We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
Sir Winston Churchill



I was referring to another person's post with the substance abuse issues and teen pregnancy. All problems are the responsiblity of the school, but it is also the community's problem and the parent's problem. The school can't do in six hours what isn't being addressed for the other 18 hours of the day.

Dress code begins at home when the child walks out of the house and the school reinforces the rules.

Individual teachers should be proactive and refer students not following the rules to administration. BUT, often times when a 'bad' or discipline problem student is doing well academically and displaying good behavior, a teacher hesitates to find fault with a dress code issue. Sometimes a kid needs to be able to go through a day without someone complaining. Teachers pick their battles with the students. It's called behavior modification.

Am I making any sense?

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daughterofconfederate

USA
29728 Posts

Posted - 10/03/2006 :  12:47:03 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Yes you are.. I understand that.. and that modification is what sets off the alarm.. when someone is and isnt being treated fairly.. I can understand that.. cause with my kids.. I can relate to the ok youre doing to good in this area to nit pick over this.. yep.. I get that..

Also.. I read about the ball cap thing.. why are coaches sporting the ball caps?


We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
Sir Winston Churchill


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a teach


466 Posts

Posted - 10/03/2006 :  12:58:13 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:

Yes you are.. I understand that.. and that modification is what sets off the alarm.. when someone is and isnt being treated fairly.. I can understand that.. cause with my kids.. I can relate to the ok youre doing to good in this area to nit pick over this.. yep.. I get that..

Also.. I read about the ball cap thing.. why are coaches sporting the ball caps?


We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
Sir Winston Churchill


coaches? hmmm, I think it's because they're MEN and you know how MEN are?

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daughterofconfederate

USA
29728 Posts

Posted - 10/03/2006 :  1:15:27 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Ive made it clear of my issues altogether, I dont nit pick my kids and I dont nit pick the school over pettyness. I see issues and I dont really think covering another ground to take away from the common ground that is of relevance is what I want to set here..

I have 4 kids with 4 totally different personalitys.. I have leaders and followers,.. I have one that wants to fit in and one who looks at others like they are aliens... I have one who is out going and bubbly and wont find fault with anything or anyone.. who looks to the goodness in everything.. I have one who hasnt started school who hides from most people cause he does NOT like people to pick him out so to say.. however he is the first one to take a lil plastic army man and put it in his shirt and run around the house saying man in my belly man in my belly.. Im learning everyday different things about my kids.. they grow and change in so many ways..

My children are Gods gift to me.... I never knew just what other parents felt when I myself didnt have children in school.. The conserns arent things that are petty here.. or unjustified.. I believe some will go and "SHOW" their dutys and others dont try to SHOW but will represent and protect their kids..

I read the post last nite and all I could feel is that the ones representing feels threatend.. or wants to push it aside.. I slept on it.. and thought much about this and still pretty much feel the same.

I am not here to rah rah that my children do no wrong.. I know that there are things that go on that I dont know about and need to know in full.. that is WHY my husband or I will go to the school without second thought.. to understand the problem.. and get it corrected.. not always has it been the school to be called out on something.. but even when we showed conserns.. we got the same sentence that was given in a post last nite pertaining to running up to the school everytime something was wrong.. well I am not quoting word for word but thats pretty much word for word what we got when we went in for a meeting last year... so for that coming from the school and a post.. all I have to say to that is.. God blessed me with kids.. he thought enough of me and my husband to care for these kids and bring them up the best we can.. and to be told we should let them deal and cope is NOT the answer I even want to hear outta anyone anywhere.. We deserve to know what to do and why this is happening.. we dont deserve to have to wait for answers that were there for choices made.. we shouldnt have to feel guilty.. so while a PTA and this and that is thrown on here to take away from the REAL issues.. I will say that it is kids best interest that I am here for.. not an employers.. and not my own names sake.. I will never let my children go into school feeling alone.. because they arent alone.. they have me and their daddy/stepdaddy who will be there thru good and bad.. who will not just send them on to the next class and who will never stop being their parents..

I dont know the attempts were what I read them for last nite... but I can assure you that theres ALWAYS more to it than meets the eye.. regardless.. I dont hold any grudges for anyone.. but I do hold questions. I am glad that you have enlightened areas that are cloudy.. like just anyone being able to come and work for the schools.. screening backgrounds arent just found on the puter or in a file.. its in actions too and representation of ones self..

Im sorry if I wear my heart on my sleeve and its a problem for those who dont.. I have passion for my life because again.. I have been blessed and I am only out to see that its taken care of in any aspect... with fairness and compassion as well..


We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
Sir Winston Churchill


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a teach


466 Posts

Posted - 10/03/2006 :  1:26:20 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
You sound like a good parent. I wish more families showed concern and provided a good home for their kids.

Imagine working in a classroom with 30 kids with all different personalities and backgrounds. Then trying to keep them all interested, content and happy!

A teacher knows who is cared for and who isn't by the way the student treats his peers, teachers and others in school. Sometimes the conduct behavior child has such a rough life at home that the school is their only safe haven.

Often teachers are doing the best they can, but from the outside looking in it doesn't seem fair. Most students understand the dynamics in school and know some kids are just hanging on by a thread. The kids know expectations are lowered for that student just to keep him in school and functioning. Ask your kids about this. It's called compassion for others and most students understand it.


The fact that you can identify that all four of your kids are different and respect those differences wins point with me!

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daughterofconfederate

USA
29728 Posts

Posted - 11/07/2006 :  7:33:00 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Teach, someone.. help!

So Lil Doc is/was a cheerleader.. theyve been practicing for the compatetion in which they only had 3 weeks to practice. sigh.. I bit my tongue and let her choose.. and with all the enfacis (sp) on doing it right and getting the new dance learned.. she was quite overwhelmed.. she could do it she felt, if she had more time and not rushed..

They were told that if they missed one practice within the 3 weeks, it was over for them.. well.. we went to ATLANTA this past weekend and on Thursday we were having a church function in which she wanted to attend.. so she hasnt been told she was kicked off the team.. however, she doesnt feel comfy with going back to cheerleading because she chose herself to participate in other events that are also once in a lifetime sorta deals.. sooo, SHE said she didnt wanna do the cheerleading.. that it wasnt fair and with all the emphasis? on getting the dance routine down to a T.. she just felt that it would disappointing to her team if she continued IF the coaches let her.. so ... tonite she basically said that she had made really good friends with her team mates.. but now they arent happy with her.. which I understand.. its a let down. However, I am explaining to Lil Doc that choices arent always easy.. go with the one feel in your heart.. is best.. and she did.. she doesnt want these girls not to be her friend.. and to be totally honest.. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO TELL HER! :( I need some help please.. advice? I dont wanna say anything yet other than what I have about choices.. cause .. I was a cheerleader.. and I was also active in another class.. however.. my grandmother was in the hospital in ICU, no one to take me to the game on Saturday or practice for the other class on Friday nite?? Or was it Thurs. anyways.. I didnt have an adult to drive me to the away game cause everyone was at the hospital.. and so in one day, I got dumped from cheering, and the other gig.. and I was treated really rotten and I remember that.. not in a I HATE YOU way.. but in a way that no one understood and to be honest, mawmaw passed away on Monday.. so.. different perdicuments.. however, I am glad Lil Doc chose to go see Aunt Katherine and us all do what we did.. I just hate the repercussions of her choosing family over practices.. and to top it off, she knew that by missing it, she wouldnt be up to par and was told that if she had.. well.. that was it.. so how do I make this daughter of mine.. feel ok about this.. its bothering her.. and I honestly dont know what to say!


Doh-nah-dah-go-huh-ee Do da da go hv I

and "I heart Aretha Franklin!"

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mad4martinis

USA
13730 Posts

Posted - 11/07/2006 :  7:41:06 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Doc, why don't you both go talk to the coach? I've always told my girls they start it, they are going to finish it. It sounds like she's not comfortable with the routine, but maybe with talking to the coach, she can feel good about finishing what she started. It's hard to explain to young girls about these "friends" who give them a hard time.

"Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"Go to Top of Page

daughterofconfederate

USA
29728 Posts

Posted - 11/07/2006 :  8:00:23 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Maddy, thank you for that! Yes, I have asked her about this.. and I want her to finish what she starts.. I hate that everything fell in timing of each other.. however, I wasnt gonna tell her she couldnt go to church and I wasnt going to tell her that she couldnt go to the Atlanta thing.. we had that planned for a very long time..

I will talk to her more and talk to the coach too. yes, you are so right, she should finish what she starts.. but I think she realizes that if they dont do good at competetion and Maddy, I know you know about those competetions.. that she will be the blame if they dont do good.. well she said that.. and she admires all the team mates.. she honestly does.. she doesnt realize that theyve been doing this a few years now.. but she does adore and admire them and she says that she doesnt want to mess them up and be the blame.. sigh.. shes right >. and she says she loves you Aunt "Maddy".


Doh-nah-dah-go-huh-ee Do da da go hv I

and "I heart Aretha Franklin!"

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mad4martinis

USA
13730 Posts

Posted - 11/07/2006 :  8:05:39 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

It wasn't that great of advice, just my opinion!!! LOL Thanks, though.
Has she talked this out with the other girls? Maybe get a couple to understand what she was up against?


"Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"Go to Top of Page

justamom

USA
313 Posts

Posted - 11/07/2006 :  8:25:24 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Sometimes it just comes down to what is more important, there are going to be things in life that are just more important than getting a cheerleading rountine down perfect, sounds like your daughter made the right decision for her and that she has her priorities in order. She made the right choice for her and sometimes that's okay.

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nativelady

USA
11126 Posts

Posted - 11/07/2006 :  9:04:36 PM  Show Profile  Visit nativelady's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Doc,

Lil Man played football. And was ever so very dedicated to it. So dedicated...He was made Captain of his team. He was the smallest player but yet the fastest and could bring even the big boys down with a bang...Well practice got intense. Intense in that it became every day. Well, Lil Man was very involved with the Youth Group on Wednesday Nights. So...he missed a few Wednesday nights at church. I let him make his own choices through this. So one Tuesday, the Coach told them they had practice the next night. Lil man walked up "looking like he was just as big as the coach" and told him he wouldn't be able to make it on Wednesday Night Practice. The coach (who thought he was intimidating Lil Man) said "Well..if you don't come to practice then you won't play in the next game."...Lil Man hesitated for a moment but didn't stutter. And said "Well if you don't need me for the game then...You don't need me period!" The coach didn't say anything. Now this wasn't in a rude tone but talking "man to man" tone. So as we were walking to the car..Lil Man turned around walked back and he laid his football gear at the coach's truck. And walked away.

The next day I get a phone call, from the coach's wife, and she was trying to "smooth" things over with me. WHich I told her...I didn't have a problem. And she went on and on and kept saying that her husband wouldn't dare let a child not be able to attend church and on and on. Finally I stopped her and told her, that my children always have participated on "their own" and we never taught them to be quitters. However, I also taught them, to stand firm. And to follow their heart. And that was what my son did.

Moral to this story is...The team ended up losing the rest of their games. They had won all of them. The other team members kept begging Lil man to come back...and he even received another call from the Coach's WIFE. Lil man didn't budge. He said "I asked for one night off. And they didn't respect that." Why should I be there to back them up just so the COACH will look good.

He loved football. He was good at it...but never played again. He told me the other day, how he loved playing it. But it didn't take the place of what he loved doing the most. So...that in itself was all I needed to hear.

Lil Doc followed her heart. She listened to her inner self. And she followed what you and I teach our children without it being drilled. God first. Family Second. Other's third. Me last.

I am proud of her! ((((((((Hugs!))))))))))

"God determines who walks into your life....it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay and who you refuse to let go."
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daughterofconfederate

USA
29728 Posts

Posted - 11/07/2006 :  9:34:09 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Awww! Ill let her read first thing in the morning.. I was proud she chose church on Thursday night, it was out Harvest Festival week.. and I was also proud that she chose to go to the Atl. trip.. she was happy too.. she even said once that she thought she chose the right thing this weekend.. and tonite.. boom she came up and said mom, we gotta talk.. so we did.. and I told her that I love her.. and about choices.. and when they feel right, then they are.. and shes worried I think about the other team mates.. she really loves each of the girls.. and their parents.

Thank you Maddy, Justy and My Greatest.. Lady.. she will feel better when she herself, reads what yuns said too. Lady, :( J is a doll.. and he is a Godly young man for sure. ;) Just like his family.. Godly!

Ok, I also talked with a close relative, and she said the same thing.. she told me to make her feel confident cause not many kids know what God and family mean.. and she does.. she also reminded me that shes not reliving my past and to stop that.lol She said that I wasnt a cheerleader or the other when mawmaw past, that I had to move abruptly due to caregiving and that the kids held that over my head.. soo there.. sorry yuns.. :( My thoughts were more on my daughter and finding rememdy for her pain.. she was fine till today.. about what she had chosen.

Maddy, the thing is, the last game was supposed to be like a month ago.. so we thought we were in the clear.. the plans for Atl. was planned out last hmm.. Christmas or Easter.. Aunt Katherin only comes up like twice a year.. UBB has never even been to her house so the invitation was special.. not that she didnt want UBB there, she and her husband never had children and they traveled alot!! So yeah, this was bigger than cheering.. and now that Lil Doc can read yuns encouraging words about her choice.... YOU KNOW..

Yes, she had talked with the captains daughter.. and she understood, and even said, I WISHED I COULDA WENT THERE INSTEAD.LOL But then there was some that were disappointed.. and well.. apparently.. it is school age gals.. and it tends to, weigh on others I reckon.. which made Lil Doc feel very guilty then.


Doh-nah-dah-go-huh-ee Do da da go hv I

and "I heart Aretha Franklin!"

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daughterofconfederate

USA
29728 Posts

Posted - 11/08/2006 :  07:16:08 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Aww. Lil Doc said thank you and that yuns are great.. and she said.. I am glad they are my friends.lol! Made me about tear up! ok. so maybe I did.. then she said, MOMMA CAN I HAVE A DOLLAR..LOL

She also asked where has "Aunt Lady and Peachy been?"


Doh-nah-dah-go-huh-ee Do da da go hv I

and "I heart Aretha Franklin!"

Edited by - daughterofconfederate on 11/08/2006 07:17:01 AMGo to Top of Page

a teach


466 Posts

Posted - 11/08/2006 :  10:17:08 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Dear Sweet Daughter.

Is she a little insecure about the routine and competition? Or, is she just tired? Either way, it is her choice to back out gracefully.
You were concerned about that in the very beginning.

If she made a commitment to the team, she should talk to all the people concerned about HER decision to drop out w/o going into too many details. She has the right to change her mind.

Sometimes learning how to say "NO" or "Enough" to other people is a good lesson to learn young. How many women just do what others want so we don't ruffle feathers or rock the boat? (Then are angry with ourselves afterwards for not being stronger.)

I agree with Maddy that it would be a good idea to talk to the coach and the other cheerleaders, but have mom there as support.

Hugs.


Edited by - a teach on 11/08/2006 10:22:05 PMGo to Top of Page

daughterofconfederate

USA
29728 Posts

Posted - 11/08/2006 :  10:27:11 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
AWW... Teach, great big hugs.. and thank you.. I was wondering where o where could you be... :) Thank you for appearing.. :)

I was conserned.. but you all helped me there too.. and yeah.. she is tired I do believe.. but the main thing was, she broke the rule by herself, choosing to go to church and to Aunt Katherines... and I let her choose.. she coulda went to practice and cought a ride with the neighbor if her daddy couldnt take her. However, she chose.. and I was happy that she chose with her heart instead of someone elses mind.. or peer preasure..


Doh-nah-dah-go-huh-ee Do da da go hv I

and "I heart Aretha Franklin!"

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a teach


466 Posts

Posted - 11/08/2006 :  10:35:13 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:

AWW... Teach, great big hugs.. and thank you.. I was wondering where o where could you be... :) Thank you for appearing.. :)

I was conserned.. but you all helped me there too.. and yeah.. she is tired I do believe.. but the main thing was, she broke the rule by herself, choosing to go to church and to Aunt Katherines... and I let her choose.. she coulda went to practice and cought a ride with the neighbor if her daddy couldnt take her. However, she chose.. and I was happy that she chose with her heart instead of someone elses mind.. or peer preasure..


Doh-nah-dah-go-huh-ee Do da da go hv I

and "I heart Aretha Franklin!"



If she'd rather be with family and church, bless her little heart. Me, too.

I get like an old bear during the winter. Feeding my face and hibernating!!!

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daughterofconfederate

USA
29728 Posts

Posted - 11/08/2006 :  10:37:49 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
LOL! Me too.. and yeah, she made a face about us not goin to church tonite in fact..

Love ya Teach, the migrane meds are making me cross my eyes.. I HOPE YUNS KNOW HOW GREATFUL I AM FOR YUNS!

ALL YUNS! AND LIL DOC IS TOO..


Doh-nah-dah-go-huh-ee Do da da go hv I

and "I heart Aretha Franklin!"

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PopPrincess

United States
4 Posts

Posted - 02/28/2008 :  6:04:07 PM  Show Profile  Visit PopPrincess's Homepage  Reply with Quote
at ucms the assit. principal plays favorites that is so stupid

*PopPrincess*Go to Top of Page

bryan

USA
61 Posts

Posted - 03/02/2008 :  10:32:47 AM  Show Profile  Visit bryan's Homepage  Reply with Quote
i posted early on about bullies....i understand that moms are wired different than us men....i'm telling you the truth about how to handle a bully, whether they are big or small, in a position of authority or just want to be....controlled intimidation works with out of control adults very well...you can scoff if you want, perhaps this kind of thing comes easier for some but everyone responds to pain...whether physical or financial...have an inpromtu meeting with the offending teacher(just drop in) and explain in few words this how their action is unacceptable and will never happen again...if you cant do this, have someone do it for you

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Betsy

USA
439 Posts

Posted - 03/06/2008 :  10:28:39 PM  Show Profile  Visit Betsy's Homepage  Reply with Quote
quote:

i posted early on about bullies....i understand that moms are wired different than us men....i'm telling you the truth about how to handle a bully, whether they are big or small, in a position of authority or just want to be....controlled intimidation works with out of control adults very well...you can scoff if you want, perhaps this kind of thing comes easier for some but everyone responds to pain...whether physical or financial...have an inpromtu meeting with the offending teacher(just drop in) and explain in few words this how their action is unacceptable and will never happen again...if you cant do this, have someone do it for you



We just went through it recently with bullies, we did it all the right ways and it was harder on one of our 5th graders, so Kev looked at her and said, "You know the consequences of fighting, when the action is worth the consequences take care of it." Well sometime between then and now, it has ceased. I do not think there is a right or a wrong way, every case is different.

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HoneyBee

USA
4364 Posts

Posted - 03/07/2008 :  09:59:27 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Lilred is catching it on the soccer field becuase she is heavier than the skinny lil thangs on her team. She has finally figured out to put it right back at 'em. I told her "Use your weight as a positive and not a negative, make it work for you."

I told her, "All of 'em together are like a pack of dog's, by theirself they are wimps. You just pick out the main dog and deal with that one and the rest of them will tuck their tail between their legs and run."

Lilred said she is tired of it and is making her stand. Good for her.
They run at her with the ball and she put's them on the ground, legal of course.

Think I might sign her up for roller derby.

Everything I say is fully substantiated by my own opinion.

Edited by - HoneyBee on 03/07/2008 10:00:28 AMGo to Top of Page

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