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nativelady

USA
11126 Posts

Posted - 09/14/2006 :  07:05:24 AM  Show Profile  Visit nativelady's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Most of us are parents of school age children on here for the most part. I respect schools and I respect authority, so let me get that out of the way FIRST.

I am 'tryin'...Key words here "trying" to not make a mountain out of a mole hill. And I am not and have not ever been a mother who has ran to the school over silly issues in all my experiece of 17 years of having children in this school system. BUT, I am having a problem, with a teacher who belittles, and cause SOOO much stress in a child's life that after 11 years of LOVING school, he actually hates it now! I am planning on calling the school for a meeting. And I do want this one teacher to be sitting right there! And then there is the problem with a certain Coach, who just kind of laughed and made fun of a child yesterday when he collapsed from a wrong turn and a pulled a muscle that caused so much pain he couldnt even move for approx 25 minutes. And...well yeah it was my son. He never complains and isnt a whiner and never really even says hes hurting when he is. Heck! He had a broke hand for 3 days and wouldnt tell me and a broke collar bone and didn't cry! So that pretty much tells ya what I am talking about! But for a teacher or a coach to just pass this stuff off as nothing? Well what finally happened they got the nurse in there and she told me that he went white as a ghost when he was able to stand from the pain. It took three of us to put him in the truck and .....I could go on and on! But I dont understand why some of these teachers who I HAVE cAlled about before can just keep on keepin' on in our school system? And I will get more details on this Coach later who just made fun of a kid on the ground! So..if this were your child...What or HOW would you handle it!?

"Yuns, Ya'll, Youns'= Can be Singular or Plural for one or all!"

mad4martinis

USA
13730 Posts

Posted - 09/14/2006 :  07:17:11 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
make the appointment with Tommy, the teacher, & the coach all together.
That's a shame. I've heard of other teachers doing that too.

*I create my experiences by what I choose to think and what I feel and believe*Go to Top of Page

Cherry Blossom

USA
18932 Posts

Posted - 09/14/2006 :  07:48:15 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Get a doctors note to say he can not participate in gym.

He should not be around ANYONE who belittles him.

Or go there during gym and from a distance watch how this teacher treats him. Then confront the man and tell him that is not acceptable period!

Cherry Blossom
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paprclip22mom

USA
8177 Posts

Posted - 09/14/2006 :  08:22:47 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Conference is in order. Also go see Tommy. You have never been one to just stand by and let things happen like this. Get something done now before it just gets worse.

Live to Ride. Ride to live.Go to Top of Page

Lake Runner

USA
305 Posts

Posted - 09/14/2006 :  09:05:36 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Yes! you need to set up a meeting. Stay calm, and take notes. At the end of the meeting, reiterate any commitments that the school has made. Also, keep a log of all of the insidents in case you need them. I do not have a son in the school system, but if it were my son, I would be calling the school today.

We can't change the wind, but we can adjust our sailsGo to Top of Page

daughterofconfederate

USA
29728 Posts

Posted - 09/14/2006 :  09:26:24 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Yes! What he said. ^^^^ Right there!


We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
Sir Winston Churchill


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topaz

USA
3621 Posts

Posted - 09/14/2006 :  09:48:39 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Lady, you already know what I would do!
I am sooo Thankful that I no longer have to deal with the UC school system and some of the 'so called teachers and leaders'!! Constructive criticism is one thing...but there are those select few, who thrive on belittling a student...and that just don't get it with me!!
I don't understand WHY those teachers are still employeed. In our jobs, our employers would not put up with that type of behaviour and it certainly shouldn't be tolerated within the school system!!
Anyways...I know you and if I had to guess, I'd say you've already been to the school this morning, or you're planning on going during your lunch break.


~*Topaz*~Go to Top of Page

nativelady

USA
11126 Posts

Posted - 09/14/2006 :  7:45:54 PM  Show Profile  Visit nativelady's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Lil Man wasn't able to go to school today. He did go to work this evening. I debated all day today many things. And decided that I would call tomorrow. At the present I am still not "calm" enough to even talk to them. I blew up on Hubby last night about it! And those who know Hubby, knows he's the first to usually blow but he told me I had better calm down before I even attempted to talk to any teacher or the school system and Yes this was while we going out the door for church!

Lil Man's frustrations are more than I've ever seen him have. He is normally a happy go-lucky feller. This "teacher" (who has papers to prove it but not anything else" ...is....well...it seems there are personal issues. I talked to another student who is in that same class. And he told me that it was unreal what she says and does and how she provokes the kids to anger. Then she sends them up for their attitudes. Now let's talk about Anger Management later for some!!!!

But she knows she can push buttons at school. But she doesn't know she's pushed the wrong button on the wrong one this time. She shall hear from me tomorrow on the issue.

As for the Coach...I am calling Tommy Stephens (Ex-Coach-who made it the the Superintendant some how????_ and I will tell him or whoever I have to talk to in that BOE about my son's experience. And he had eye witnesses to prove it! Not only did the Coach do this but he also left him laying there unsupervised while he was down! That speaks louder than words doesn't it?

"Yuns, Ya'll, Youns'= Can be Singular or Plural for one or all!"Go to Top of Page

JawJa Gurl

USA
1139 Posts

Posted - 09/15/2006 :  11:29:57 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
So sorry you're havin to deal w/ this kinda thing Native! All the best to you in gettin this handled!!

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samantha_blue


1193 Posts

Posted - 09/15/2006 :  12:16:36 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
You go Native!!! Just reading your posts makes my blood boil! I've dealt with some teachers at school that in my opinion picked the wrong profession. They could care less about the kids, they just want that paycheck!! And let me tell you, they can whine and cry that they are underpaid, but they do pretty darn well if you ask me!! I was shocked at how much some of them made. There is a website you can go to and it will tell you their names, school system, and yearly salaries!! Anyways, don't back down and you go to whomever you need to so you can get this resolved!! I find it shocking that teachers can treat kids so horribly, yet if we did that DFACS would be called into our home!! I know for the majority the teachers are good, but there are a few that should just move on!

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justamom

USA
313 Posts

Posted - 09/18/2006 :  3:30:47 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Native, Sorry to hear that happened, we can let the small things go but this is not one of them. That is really something to bring to other people's attention. Why in the world would a "coach" not step in and say, " Are you okay, or Gosh you look like you are hurting" or showing some kind of concern for his pain. I hope you have your say and get some type of answers to why this was handled this way. I would be so MAD! Everyone needs to loose the attitude at the school, we as parents and tax payers don't need to put up with that stuff!

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Ginger Ale

USA
61 Posts

Posted - 09/18/2006 :  10:51:54 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Native,
I totally understand your feelings and I am sorry your family is not having a good experience with the School System right now. I know we all have opinions, but in all my experience, I suggest you contact the principal(s) and ask for a meeting with the principal(s) and the coach/teacher, NOT the Superintendent. See where you can get from there, and if you are still unsatisfied, take the next step (T. Stephens). Good Luck!

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nativelady

USA
11126 Posts

Posted - 09/19/2006 :  07:17:17 AM  Show Profile  Visit nativelady's Homepage  Reply with Quote
I appreciate every one's advice on this. I thought this one through before I jumped, which is really proving my age I do believe...Hmmm! I have taken the first step only yesterday. I didnt want to jump into something angry, because I knew I would just show hostility. And I didn't want that impression while trying to solve a problem. Water and Oil do NOT mix. And I have decided to take another approach other than the Superintendant. I thought I would do as the school system does it and see how this works. I have a written letter that will be mailed to the teacher and principals. The letter is addressed to the teacher but I thought I should send one also to the principal just in case it came up missing. If I dont get any relief, or I should say if my Lil Man doesn't get any relief, then I will call and ask for a meeting with the principals WITH the teacher called in. I am not setting back on this one. I have got past the coach incident in the gym. Like I said, I decided to think this one through before I jumped. The accident in the gym hurt his pride. The case with this teacher is causing more harm than the injury he received in the Gym. And I have talked with another teacher in the school system. And she understands what he is going through. Evidentally, he isn't the first. And no other child's parents have stood up for their child because evidentally the kids dont converse with their parents about this woman. However, one student talked to me about it without my Lil Man being there and he told me that she really needed to be out of there from what he had seen. So I dont know. We will play this one by ear for now after all 3 letters are mailed to each individual. Thanks again for your advice!

"God determines who walks into your life....it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay and who you refuse to let go."
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Lake Runner

USA
305 Posts

Posted - 09/19/2006 :  08:45:41 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Native,

I think you are doing the right thing. By waiting and calming down, you have the advantage of planning how you want to do this. I would guess that you will hear back from the principle, and you will be told that the school takes these things serious, etc. And it will not happen again. (Just my guess here.) I would have a good talk with Lil Man and let him know what is going on. Be sure he tells you if anything else happens.

You CAN beat this!!

We can't change the wind, but we can adjust our sailsGo to Top of Page

daughterofconfederate

USA
29728 Posts

Posted - 09/19/2006 :  11:51:09 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Lady, You are wise.. always have been.

We are going thru something with them too with my Kindergardener. He went to prek.. the Kindergarden teacher said he was still behind and requested 21st Century program two weeks into this school year. My girls have went, so I saw nothing wrong with this.. it has helped the girls when they needed the help.. until last year and they started bringing their homework home after 6pm and when I asked why they didnt do it in 21st century and we would be up till 9:30 doing it between supper and baths, they said they didnt have to,... they could do other activities.. so I thought really hard last year.. the girls loved it and stuck it out and done the summer program too..

This year there is a new person over this program.

Yesterday, me and UBB was at the door when the bus dropped them off. It was raining and we had waited to see if they remembered their umbrella.. well here walked off my 5 yr old with his brand new shirt torn at the chest from one side to the other seam... his chest was red.. now he is a slender child.. actually he is quite slender but he does eat all the time.. just burns up energy.. anyways.. he started crying.. said a boy bigger than kotsey(his sister) was in the waiting area for the buses and he was mean and grabbed him and slung him down.. he said that his shirt ripped when the boy did it..

Now for yuns that know my kids... "kotsey" is alot bigger than my 5 yr old and sure nuff because if age.. but shes also a bit heavier than kids her age normally are..

Hunny took him to school this morning and lilbigun told the principle which I WILL SAY THAT HE DID LISTEN TO HIM AND UBB AND HE WAS VERY GOOD! Veryy understanding and wanting something done as well.. but thats a different program and really isnt in his hands... its in the 21st century program directors hands.. so he told UBB to contact her and he did make notes and was very upset.. said his kids wasnt going to be picked on by those big kids...

Well UBB was calm about it.. the big issue was one of my other kids and lilbigun said there wasnt a teacher around these small mixed with big kids at the time this all happend. sigh..

UBB was told that the director didnt get in till 9:30 am.. to try calling then so they could get to the root of it and find out this boys name so this wouldnt happen again and most likely it would,.. specially since my boy hunkered down and just cried with fear.. the boy now knows he can pick on mine.. well UBB called.. and called.. she finally got in after 10:25am and then we were told that she would discuss it with her councelors and get back with us without even talking to us about it at all.. LATER THIS EVENING.. yep..

Lady I admit that oil and water does not mix.. I also know that UBB came into this not angry but wanting to nip this in the bud and the school aware... these things do not need to linger.. and hunny made sure when he was talking to one of them that he reminded them of the pills on the bus incident that was swept under the rug and the bus driver told my kid when she was trying to tell him what was going on to shut up and sit down... it was all shooved under the rug and we were told that they went by what the girl had told them.. that it was breath mints.. two and a half years went by and we went to the century 21 drug awareness thing last year and my daughter saw the pill and pointed it out to us.. yep.. she pointed it right out as being the pill.. a heavy used narcotic that is very much out there on the streets... so the school.. has good people willing to listen.. and to do what they can to help the children..

While others just wanna cover their own TALE... and time to find the help to do it..

Tommy was very great and if it had not been for him in a situation last year... with my eldest.. we would have had no remedy or understanding.. he helped us and gave us both.. so I wouldnt knock going to him.. although we didnt go to him yet.. he does work for not only the school but us parents and the kid..

Now UBB said that the director just called and she was saying it could happened on the bus.. sigh.. see... THAT she would have to get with the other cordinaters.. sigh..

Yes we could take them out.. which he will be out of this program. We could home school them.. we could send them to these other academys.. but why do that when the kids are doing their part.. and its not them that is the issues.. One bad apple can spoil others yes.. why should we take the kids out.. for another kid to fall behind in the same perdicument... or worse.. what needs attention should be addressed... thats the way I feel... I know too many good teachers and principles and assistants at our school.. that are there for the purpose of being who they are to the kids and teaching.. assisting.. etc.. Im not going to falter to one bad misjudgement. Not when there are positives.. that can over ride the negatives..

Some people dont need to teach.. some people dont need to be doctors.. and some dont need to be parents true.. those are the ones who people can see from the examples they set forth.

I dont want to gripe at the school and hunny dont either.. I dont want my kids hurt or in perdicuments that should not even be in the school.. and if they are,... they need resolved and within a timely matter before patterns are set!

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
Sir Winston Churchill


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paprclip22mom

USA
8177 Posts

Posted - 09/19/2006 :  12:07:53 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
DoC that's horrible. Did lil DoC not see this happen? Or big lil girl? You would think they would have kicked that boy square in the pants.

Live to Ride. Ride to live.Go to Top of Page

daughterofconfederate

USA
29728 Posts

Posted - 09/19/2006 :  12:22:38 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
They said no.. they usually pair off with their lil friends.. ones over >> rah rah reeing and the other is everywhere chatter bugging.. or at least when Ive been places with them.. but thats what they said, that they were with their friends and came after they heard lilbugun crying.. :(


We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
Sir Winston Churchill


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puddin pop

USA
4628 Posts

Posted - 09/19/2006 :  12:28:55 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Doc, I'm sorry for lil biggun that this happened to him. I would be a thorn in their side till I got satisfaction. Where were the teachers that should have been supervising this?

We have always been fortunate with the teachers our daughter has had until this year. This one this year seems to have some sort of personal problem and I actually felt sorry for her till yesterday. I sent a note this morning and requested a phone call today. Let's see if I get it.

Why can't I get a little ahead instead of a bigger behind?Go to Top of Page

Wildflower

USA
4528 Posts

Posted - 09/19/2006 :  4:01:27 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Native,

You shouldn't worry what others think of you.

As a parent, you are your childs' only advocate. There is no one but you and your husband who can step up and protect your child.

And let me tell you, that teacher will at least think twice before picking on your child again if you speak up now!

It's the same as an elderly person in a nursing home. Sometimes there is a big difference in the care received by patients who have family checking in on their care, compared to those who don't.

It's easy to abuse someone when no one is paying attention.

I would talk to them about what happened and ask for an explanation. And regardless of whether they try to justify it, or whether they apologize, I would make it clear that it will NOT happen again.

Wildflower

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me.
But deep down, I know that's not true.
Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
~Robert Orben
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daughterofconfederate

USA
29728 Posts

Posted - 09/19/2006 :  5:00:05 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Lady, I agree with WF on this but WF.. guess what.. I said it in my post this morning.. and guess... out of two other syblings.. the one who has adhd was pulled aside.. not the oldest... and questioned and she came home asking why Mrs.. S was asking her if lilbigun tore his own shirt,.,,,.... see..... sigh. I already made it clear that the girls had already been questioned.. and so did hunny when he went to school.. they admitted to not have seeing it before my girl was pulled aside in the lunch room and asked if lilbigun had done it hiself.. soo.. what does that tell ya.. They dont wanna deal with their own is what it tells me.. they wanna set it off on anything but dealing with the main issues.. I saw teachers everywhere today.. so that was good.. where were the ones in charge of my son yesterday? I dont know..

Lady.. I talked to some superior beings today and they said call DFACS.. now thats just what they said.. they also said that thats happened to kids and then they die of dehydration and heat stroke.. and that Coach just walked off huh is what they said... They also said, dont you think that they wouldnt do some kinda something to you if it had been turned around...

Also, DFACS is overloaded and not enough workers but everyone should know that they arent there against us, they are there to help families too and they do have other services other than, food stamps, medicaid, and such programs...

Puddin, I hope you get some resolution to your issues.. I really hope you nip it in the bud hun.. your gal is soo sweet and such a good child too!

As for me.. I am really tired of getting walked over and the petty cover our own attitude that some has... NOT ALL but I can grant you that I am not the only one who can spot um out!


We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
Sir Winston Churchill


Edited by - daughterofconfederate on 09/19/2006 5:07:14 PMGo to Top of Page

daughterofconfederate

USA
29728 Posts

Posted - 09/19/2006 :  5:23:00 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Just got a call from the director.. all the SCHOOL Teachers that saw my son before he left to go to 21st Century say the shirt wasnt torn before 21 - All the 21st Century team says it was already torn... My eldest said she did see him get off the bus for 21st and the shirt WAS NOT TORN.. SOOO.. THERE YA GO... Thats what we got for remedy.. a I wasnt there so I didnt know and what I just typed.. she had to call us back HOURS after hunny had been up there for that? To come to what kinda conclusion.. ticked YOU BET I AM... my son never wets the bed.. he wet it last nite..and didnt wake up till I told him before I went to bed.. he didnt wanna go to big school or the lil one..

My child is NOT going back TO THIS PROGRAM. For one.. no one seemed to be where they could keep an eye on my child and he got hurt... for two.. GOD FORBID OUR CHILDRENS SAFETY BECAUSE THE SAFETY ISNT AS BIG OF A ISSUE AS THE WHO WAS AT FAULT AND DONT DO WRONG... BLAH! IM OFF OF HERE! SORRY


We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
Sir Winston Churchill


Edited by - daughterofconfederate on 09/19/2006 5:24:29 PMGo to Top of Page

justamom

USA
313 Posts

Posted - 09/19/2006 :  6:59:52 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
DOC, my daughter worked at the 21st century program when she was in 11th grade, it was the first year of the program. She was the recreation coordinator, she had K, 1st, and 2nd graders. Every week it would alternate by grade. Sometimes they gave her up to 12 kids to keep track of with no help. There was one little boy who was autistic that really needed more time than she could give him. Well she was quickly overwhelmed and asked for help, telling them that there was no way that she could keep track of 12 little kids by herself, especially if one had to go to the rest room or something. Finally they had another student help her. She worked the entire school year but did not return in 12th grade. The pay was good, $9.00/hr but they really expected alot out of an eleventh grader with no formal training. Parents DEMAND changes and quality care, this is a state funded program and we need it here. Keep letting them know about what is happening and maybe some positive changes will come. Once my daughter got someone to help her, she loved it and loved the kids, by the end of the year she had ton's of funny stories of all the stuff they did and said and missed them all when summer came.

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daughterofconfederate

USA
29728 Posts

Posted - 09/19/2006 :  7:17:52 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I thank you Justy.. That is overwhelming to a 11th grader much less someone our age. I am glad she got the help she needed. We have finally found out the kids name responsible for the shirt tear throwing down put on my son.. the cordinator is aware now. Hunny called her back while I was gone with Lil Doc to rah rah ree.. I will update yall..
Justy, you are right, the program is needed.. it was needed when we were kids.. and now they finally have it.. its one thing to ask the kids to appreciate it and respect the rules that apply.. but also the people helping should understand.. that safety verses blame.. safety is the one that should come first.. there was no reason my nor anyones 5 yr old should be around 6th graders unsupervised.
This program was NOT something we were taking advantage of because we needed child care. I work spontanously as to what job I have and hunny and I are fortunant we work so close to home at this time.. I didnt ask for placement for my kids.. the teachers wanted my kids there for the extra help. It was and is not a baby sitting service for me.. My 5 yr old is behind some in his class and his teacher said it would him tremendously.. that is why he was there to begin with.. Now I am in the perdicument to pull him out because of safety issues and the help he was receiving and enjoying until this issue.. what about that? He deserves that help moreso than any other child who is able to receive it? True? What would yall do..?? I really would like to know because now I am calmed down.. and where I was upset.. I am hurt for my child.. in many ways!
I want the best for him.. he deserve the chance as much as anyone elses kid does, and all this because his "pack" wasnt being monitored? :(

Lady, what is happening with your issue? Puddin, how about yalls?

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
Sir Winston Churchill


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Wildflower

USA
4528 Posts

Posted - 09/19/2006 :  7:24:26 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Saw this program on 20/20 several months ago. Basically he nails it on the head what is wrong with most school systems in the U.S.

About half-way down, he describes exactly how hard it is to fire a teacher. On the actual show, he showed a flow chart that details how many steps a school system has to go through to eventually fire an incompetent or abusive teacher. It was unbelieveable. If you follow all the steps, it would take YEARS!

Yes, even sex abusers can't get booted out very fast.

They have a building in New York City where they send the teachers they don't want in a classroom, but can't fire because they have not gone through all the steps to get rid of them. Essentially, these teachers report to the building for several hours a day and sit around doing nothing and getting paid for it. The city pays a fortune for it.

Teacher's unions have created laws that make it nearly impossible to weed out the bad ones.

Here is the transcript:

http://abcnews.go.com/2020/Stossel/story?id=1500338


Wildflower

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me.
But deep down, I know that's not true.
Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
~Robert Orben
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justamom

USA
313 Posts

Posted - 09/19/2006 :  7:43:17 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
WF, I saw that program too! It was unreal to me that you could keep your job and get paid for doing nothing! I remember watching that and being so MAD!

DOC, I remember that when my daughter worked at the program I think the kids were supposed to get their homework done or at least started, they had help when needed and only then were they allowed to do the fun stuff like soccer and basketball etc. They had stations and they moved around, they had a snack too. It may have changed in the past year, I hope it's not just a "baby sitting" type thing now because I think alot of the kids really did benefit from the one on one help with their homework. I hope it works out.


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daughterofconfederate

USA
29728 Posts

Posted - 09/19/2006 :  7:58:47 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
No Justy.. there are lotsa kids there for the needs.. but lots too because its easier on working folks as well.. Sorry if I made that sound like its a babysitting service.. I was just stating that we dont use it for one.. never have... its hard being on top of all the work these kids do.. and I admit.. I should have paid more attention in school for these times now and also because the advanced teaching in todays systems shiech are wonderful in all honesty..

WF, Thank YOU for sharing this because I missed the program.. VERY INTERSTING and yeah!


We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
Sir Winston Churchill


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